his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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