I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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