There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
