i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
