i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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