the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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