my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
