god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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