I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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