small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This baby is an asshole
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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