That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You were trust falling into bushes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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