I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
