so that wasnt chicken after all
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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