A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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