I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize