Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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