I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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