its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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