i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
