Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
