are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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