I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
