drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
