Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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