If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
