a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
