i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize