My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
