Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
