he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
