yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
