Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
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The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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