Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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