he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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