you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
