My brain says no but my pants say off.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
