Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
