what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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