did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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