dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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