So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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