I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
