I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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