Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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