Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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