I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
