guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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