Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
