people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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