I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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