Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
