I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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