Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
